Forgiveness

Matthew 18:21–35

Peter asks Jesus how many times he must forgive someone who repeatedly sins against him—“seven times?” Jesus answers, “77 times,” meaning there is no limit to forgiveness. The parable of the unforgiving servant shows us why: we forgive others because we ourselves have received immeasurable forgiveness and grace from God.

1. Being Forgiven — vv. 23–27

The first place to begin is with our own need to be forgiven by God.

God will call every person to account—not only for our actions, but also for our words, thoughts, rebellion, and sin. Our excuses cannot save us, nor can promising to “try harder” or do better next time.

The servant asks for more time to repay his enormous debt, but instead, the king does something completely unexpected: he forgives the entire debt. This reflects the grace of God. When we come to God and ask for forgiveness, He does not offer forgiveness with conditions attached. He forgives us because of His grace and the work of Christ.

There is also no sin that is too great for God to forgive when we genuinely come to Him. Sometimes, even after God has forgiven us, we continue accusing ourselves of the same sin. That accusing voice may come from others, from ourselves, or from the evil one—but it does not come from God.

We must acknowledge our sin honestly, but then listen to what God says: He forgives, accepts, loves, and embraces us through Christ. God’s grace, revealed through the cross, is greater than our sin and shame.

2. Forgiving Others — vv. 33, 35

Because we have received mercy, we are called to show mercy to others. Jesus makes this very clear: forgiveness is not optional for those who have experienced God’s forgiveness.

There are three reasons why forgiving others can be difficult:

a. Our heart is not right

Sometimes forgiveness is difficult because our heart is filled with resentment, anger, judgment, or self-righteousness. These attitudes can prevent us from forgiving others.

We need to recognize that sometimes the greatest problem is not what the other person has done, but what is happening inside our own heart.

b. We have been hurt

Sometimes the problem is deeper because we have genuinely been hurt.

When someone hurts us, we may respond in several ways:

* Feelings: anger, resentment, sadness, or depression.

* Decisions: “I will never speak to that person again,” “I will never go there again,” or other decisions we make because of the hurt.

* Actions: retaliating, speaking harshly, or trying to hurt the other person back.

We need to distinguish the hurt from our response to the hurt, and also distinguish both from forgiveness.

Sometimes what we need first is healing, not simply trying harder to forgive. We can bring the hurt to God, ask Him to heal our hearts, and seek prayer and help from trusted Christians.

We may also need to recognize decisions we made because of past hurts and decide whether those decisions still belong in our lives today.

When it comes to forgiveness, forgiveness means:

* I will no longer be the accuser.

* I will no longer hold this against you.

* I will leave the punishment and judgment to God.

Forgiveness means giving up our position as the prosecutor and allowing God to deal with the matter.

So, when we struggle to forgive, examine the hurt, seek healing, reconsider decisions made because of the hurt, and make choices about how we respond.

c. The person keeps offending against us

This brings us back to Peter’s original question: What if the person keeps doing it?

If someone repeatedly hurts or sins against us, we may need the help of others and, above all, the help of the Lord.

We can pray:

“Lord, please help me. How should I respond rightly to this person?”

Forgiveness does not mean ignoring repeated wrongdoing or refusing appropriate help and boundaries. But it does mean seeking to respond in a way that honors Christ rather than being controlled by anger, retaliation, or resentment.

3. The Good Heart — vv. 27, 33

The great question is: How can we forgive from the heart?

Jesus calls us to a very high standard—not superficial forgiveness that simply says, “Don’t worry about it,” but forgiveness that genuinely releases the person and restores them as a brother or sister.

Where can we find such a heart?

Only in God.

The king in the parable was moved with deep compassion toward the servant. In the same way, God has compassion toward us when we come to Him for forgiveness.

And that same compassion is what we need toward those who hurt us—not anger, retaliation, or resentment, but Christ-like compassion.

This kind of love cannot be produced simply through human effort, training, therapy, or guilt. It comes from Christ dwelling in us.

Paul’s prayer in Ephesians 3:16–19 is therefore central: that Christ may dwell in our hearts through faith, that we may be rooted and established in love, and that we may know the immeasurable love of Christ.

This kind of forgiveness comes when Christ lives in our hearts by His Spirit.

So we should pray for this kind of heart—a heart filled with Christ’s love and compassion even for the difficult, annoying, or repeatedly offending person.

After all, Christ welcomes difficult people into His church—and some of us are those difficult people. Therefore, we are called to love one another with the love that comes from Christ.

Final Challenge

The ability to forgive others does not ultimately come from ourselves. It flows from having first received God’s forgiveness and allowing Christ to dwell in our hearts.

Do you want that love from Christ for yourself?