Work and Relationships

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Liberte? ... Egalite? ... Fraternite? (Work and relationships)

18 February 2007

Part of the history of labour movements has been the fight for better conditions for workers. Famous battles between unions and governments/employers have been fought over the length of the working week, about fair wages, and about other important matters to do with employment.

Part of the aim was to give workers time away from work for rest and family. But the world keeps changing and long hours creep back – especially among the so called professional classes. There are many reasons for this, including the use of work as a retreat from home. Actually as a retreat from difficult relations at home.

Last week Greg spoke at the Men’s breakfast about the book, The Man in the Mirror. One of the things I think he reported was that one of the temptations men face (and not only men) is to use work as a diversion from responsibilities and relationships.

The issue is quite complex, because often at work relationships are also difficult. Indeed relationships are generally difficult. In a place like Jakarta they can be quite transitory, and the more people we have formed relationships with leave for somewhere else, the harder it is to form the next one.

Two recent movies highlight the difficulties of relationships. Jindabyne is set in Australia and concerns strained and hostile relationships within families, between friends, within a township and between different ethnic groups. It is a brilliant multi-layered film which deals with guilt and unforgiveness.

Babel is another which describes the same kinds of tensions. People scattered around the world at the same lattitude but in each case with serious tensions within groups and families and between them. There are lots of metaphors in the film, some of which connect with the biblical story. One which does is the final scene on the top of one of the towers of a modern city. What might be seen as a refuge for humanity is portrayed as a place of naked loneliness and isolation.

And yet in both films there seems to be some hope despite the threat and presence of death. But the viewer has to realise it. How shall we strengthen relationships? How can we reverse the retreat? How can we resist the imperialism of work in order to build our families? How shall we avoid the death of love? In my view the foundation for dealing with the difficulties of the teen years is in the first 10 years of a child’s life. But it is often in those years that work takes parents away most (with the hope that things will get better of course). But it may be that a new fight is necessary to build the life of our relationships. Ou la mort?

Dale

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